Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Why the UVa Football Team Will Win the National Championship This Year

About the only thing I'm more ignorant about than football is...college football. Therefore, I had to chuckle when this e-mail arrived in my in-box yesterday:

Dear Mayor Norris,

For our upcoming College Football Special Section, we need your help. Our theme this year is “Campaign 2008: Who is No. 1?” We would be honored if you can give us a couple of paragraphs on why Virginia will win the national championship. The more personal, the better. We understand that you have more important items to deal with. So, we’re hoping that if we ask now, you can get us your team’s platform by July 15. Thanks ahead of time for your help. You’ve got our vote in your next election.

Bob Asmussen
Champaign, Illinois, News-Gazette

OK, kind readers: help an ignorant brother out. Please leave some comments below as to why you think UVa will be in the running for the national championship this year. [Apparently the News-Gazette contacted Mayors from the 30 cities whose home teams they deemed most likely to win it all.] Even if you're not 100% convinced that UVa has the national championship in the bag this year, let's be optimistic here and talk up our team's prospects. Let's strike some fear into the hearts of any team that dares to take the field against our Cavaliers! I will pick and choose from among your keen observations in my reply to Mr. Asmussen. Thanks.

[Postcard below circa 1909]


effinhippie said...

Not knowing anything about college football would be your best argument for thinking UVA could be #1.

Peter Kleeman said...

News Alert (not really)- Due to loss of a large number of UVA football players to academic ineligibility, committing various high crimes and misdemeanors, transferring to other universities, and general disinterest in continuing to play football at UVA, an infusion of truly national championship level competitors have been recruited from the lacrosse, soccer, tennis, and mock trial teams that have recently won national championships. One of the recruits from the UVA Mock Trial National Championship Team was reported to have said that "[w]inning any national championship is more mental than physical. If University of Virginia School of Law student and former mock trial competitor Ryan Faulconer (coach of UVA Mock Trial team) can help the football program I am sure UVA can win it all this year.

Anonymous said...

Funny thing is, UVA doesn't comprehend the word Championship.